Guys and Girls can be friends?

Salaam ladies,

Yes, it's been a while but insha'Allah we are back for the long haul. I wanted to share this video, I know this is a hotly debated topic. I thought it was quite an eye opener.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=youtu.be

"A plan or two might indeed end as failures, but the person who has no plans is a failure." Yasir Qadhi

How devoted are you to your Salah?

"Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof,

when your own doorstep is unclean." Confucius. 

This quote reminds me to bite my tongue when I have lots of negative stuff to say about others.... I myself am not perfect, so I better work on myself first.

Triple Filter Test: An AWESOME way to stop gossip and backbiting

I found this to be VERY helpful. I think everyone should read this and apply it to their life. Share it with your friends and family also so that they also know this mental process to stop backbiting and gossip. 

           In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”  

“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?”
“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth.  

Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and..”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of goodness.  

Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of usefulness.

Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No not really …”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”
With tips like this we will be Improving-our-Muslim-selves. Inshallah
Source: http://loveethedeen.tumblr.com/page/6

An Eye Opener

http://islamic-quotes.tumblr.com/page/2

How to Lose Your Kids by Yahya Adel Ibrahim

Assalamualaikum,

I read this list about how NOT to treat/raise kids and found myself nodding the whole time thinking I know of this happening to me or others. Time to learn from this list so that we do not do it to our kids Inshallah. 

http://www.facebook.com/mobileprotection#!/note.php?note_id=184069844980290

Pt.1: Discipline them in front of other kids. Destroy self-esteem and build resentment towards you. Win Win

Pt.2: Make a decision, Change it, Change back, change to option3 then get angry &yell at them.Let them do it their way.

Pt3: begin smacking them early.Reward their misbehavior with attention yell, scream & argue. Go 2 far &then U APOLOGIZE

Pt4: Focus obsessively on academic progress while neglecting social & spiritual development. Its all ok if you get an A

Pt5:  Give them all they ask for.Pickup after them, don't give them duties / assign them work.U work they Eat,sleep&study

Pt6:  Fear of U supersedes learning from their mistake and developing awe of Allah. Fear U minus Allah => Lie2U &Others

Pt7: If U ask about who/what/when&y they will rebel so just stay quiet& hope for the best..What would the community say

Pt8: Treat Ur children as if they are furniture. Their opinion,feelings&advice is 2ndary. Loving U = Obeying U..quickly

Pt9: Worry about public perceptions more than Allah's Anger.What will they say about us..How can I show my face?

Pt10: Motivate them by reminding them of their failings,mistakes &Ur disappointment.End by comparing them Versus others
 

Pt11: Ignore ratings for movies&games.TV is a a great teacher&babysitter. Y all the fuss about obesity& ADHD linked 2 TV

Pt12: Highlight other families problems &forget to thank Allah 4 ur fortune;U raised them&deserve the credit, right?

Pt13: When Ur boy starts investigating the other sex, look the other way. If UR daughter does, there is hell to pay.

Pt14: push ur cultural practices as if they are the quran..even if they contradict the sunnah.

Pt15: Tell them things & do the opposite, get angry when they correct you & try to teach U. They're kids - TEACH ME??

Found this list funny and disturbing at the same time. Inshallah Allah (swt) will give us guidance so that our parents and even we will know the correct path to show ourselves and children. Ameen
 

When you feel surrounded by problems, read this dua!

        Assalamualaikum, I was just talking with a friend about being surrounded by problems. Literally, every member of my family is dealing with some problem and being the type of person I am, I take that problem on myself as well. She told me of a dua that a person can read when surrounded by difficulties and stress like I feel right now. I wanted to share this dua with others because it may help another person out also. 

          First and foremost, you must have faith that when you turn to Allah (swt) with your problems, he will listen and help you out. Without this faith and belief in Allah, your dua is incomplete I think. 

This is a dua you should say very frequently  and it is suggested to read it early in the morning before other work. This is an excerpt while chatting with my friend, so all credit goes to her. I pray that Allah eliminates all her difficulties and grants her what is best for her. Ameen.

 Read HasbunAllahi Wani'mal wakeel= Allah (alone) is sufficient for us (Qur'an 3:173)

           When Hazrat Ibrahim alihis salaam was thrown into fire by evil man, reading this dua extinguished fire on its own. Allah made the fire cool, safe, and peaceful for Prophet Ibrahim (as). It basically means Allah (swt) is enough for us because He is the only who can help. 

Meaning is: There is no god but Allah who is strong and powerful, he is the owner of everything and every praise is for Him, I ask for mercy and ask for forgiveness, and ask You for the ability to do good and protect me from evil. Do not pass any sin without forgiving, and do not pass any sorrow or necessity because You are most merciful"

           Inshallah reading this dua will benefit others out there. I will be definitely reciting this dua and hope you do also. 

Doubting Myself While Wearing Hijab

"I wish I could just walk around with my hair down and dyed like that girl" 

"I wish I could wear pretty earrings like her" 

"Wow, her hair open like that looks so pretty. I look like an old maid in this scarf" 

 Yesterday, I was out shopping with family, and I felt hideous in my hijab. My cousins had their hair open, dyed, layered, with pretty earrings. And I felt ugly. However, as I looked disgustedly at myself in the mirror, I thought, all this hair, jewelry etc is to look beautiful in this world, however I look beautiful to Allah (swt) for wearing this hijab. This thought gave me courage and happiness and I decided to write my hijab story to motivate others who might also deal with doubts while wearing hijab.

My hijab story is very different from my blogger friend Muslimah Nurse. http://improvingmymuslimself.blogspot.com/2011/04/struggling-with-hijab.html
Her mom was a hijabi and she followed her mom's footsteps. However, no one in my family in America wears hijab. (However, just because my mom doesn't wear hijab doesn't mean she is not pious or religious. In contrast, she is one of the most god fearing people I know Alhamdulillah.) As I grew up, my mom always taught me that you must have hijab in your eyes and heart first before you do hijab physically. This translates to lowering your gaze and practicing modesty in your language, thoughts, and behavior. 

I always admired women who wore hijab and thought, "I will wear hijab one day when I become a doctor." I always dreamed of being a hijabi in the future but never had the guts to put it on. This is probably because no one in my family wore it, so it would be a drastic change to make. However, in the summer of freshman year  college, Allah guided me toward wearing the hijab. I felt an urgency and thought why am I postponing wearing hijab when I can do it NOW? I suddenly had courage to stand up and take initiative. I can only say that Allah gave me the strength and guidance and that is why I am a hijabi Alhamdulilah. I went to my university freshman year without hijab (I never even wore my hair stylishly or down but always in a ponytail). 

Then, first day of sophomore year I decided to wear the "piece of cloth on my head". It was a triangle shaped cotton red scarf I wore to my madrassa. My dad glanced at my change of appearance through his rear view mirror but said nothing. My mom was insistent that I not wear the hijab and just go to college like a normal girl. However, 'rebelling' against my mother I wore the hijab and began my first day of sophomore year. Some friends were surprised and asked if I had become a hijabi. Others acted like they didn't even notice at all. All I can say is that this decision was brewing in my mind for a while and Allah gave me the power to take action. He gave me confidence so that I when I looked in the mirror I was proud of myself and thought I looked pretty. Alhamdulillah it's been 4 years as a hijabi and I'm thankful that I am a Muslim and have the privilege of wearing hijab.
Like I mentioned earlier, I do deal with difficulty sometimes when wearing hijab. I miss wearing my big pretty earrings outside. When I see a girl with her perfectly straightened hair, I wish my hair wasn't bunched up in a tight bun. Maybe you may also share these thoughts, but remember these are all thoughts from the shaitan. We wear our hijab to look pretty for Allah.

To battle these negative thoughts I do somethings to make myself feel pretty:
Learn new ways to style hijab. Who said a hijabi can't be stylish?! Follow blogs about hijabi fashion and you will surely be inspired

http://www.yazthespaz89.blogspot.com/

http://hijabrevival.blogspot.com/

http://www.hijabstyle.co.uk/

You can wear your hair pretty with ladies and your mahrams so here is a link I follow for hair tutorials.

http://www.youtube.com/user/LuxyHair
Put on some blush or lipstick to bring color to your complexion and make you look brighter and prettier in you hijab

I hope these tips help you out. I ask all my readers to share their tips to help them wear hijab confidently so that we can all benefit. Do you watch beauty or hair tutorials to make you feel pretty? Well, share them girl!! 

Remember that hijab is something we are doing for Allah which beautifies us to such an extent that no makeup, clothing can match our hijabi beauty. Alhamdulilah

Celebrate Mother's Day Everyday To Enter Paradise

 

Assalamualaikum,

No, Im not late in celebrating Mothers Day. For me mothers day is not one day I go out and buy perfume and chocolates for my Mom. However, I strive to appreciate my Mom everyday. I pray that Allah forgives my sins when I get impatient with her, when I get irritated thinking she is old fashioned, and when I don't understand her love and affection for me. She is so hardworking and puts her heart and soul out so that I don't have to deal with difficulty. Oh Allah, please let me love my Mom with all my heart each and everyday. Please eliminate all her worries, sorrows, and difficulties in this life and the hereafter Ameen.

Our Prophet saws emphasized the importance of mothers on many occasions. Here is one example: 

A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim). 

I found a really cute book More Mommilies: As My Mother Used to Say  with a list of wise sayings from mothers over the years. I selected a few sayings that I liked and hope you enjoy them as much as I did. Some you need to think about a little to understand. Exercise your brain! :)

• Remember, I'm your mother - and you'll never have another
• If I wanted to know your opinion, I'd ask for it
• I'm not everyone else's mom
• You'd go to the ocean and not find any water
• I feel this all the time when I my brother cant find things that are in front of him and he begs me to find it for him. 

• An empty can makes the most noise; the same goes for heads
• The tongue- we  spend three years learning how to use it and the rest of our lives learning how to control it. 
• SO TRUE!!

• Dont take a single thing for granted- ever. 
• When your mind doesnt work, your feet have to. 
• Always expect the worst, and when it comes, make the best of it.
• There is a devil, there is not doubt. -- But is he trying to get inside of us or out?
• Look it up-- you'll remember it longer
• Great tip for studying!
• Your only as old as you feel!
• Dont eat in front of your friends unless you have enough to share.
• No man chases a streetcar he's already caught.

Dont forget to celebrate Mothers Day EVERYDAY! Whether you give your mom an extra hug, tell her thank you for everything she does, give her a massage, or do some chores voluntarily for her. Make her feel special because she deserves it. 

(: Improving My-muslim-self :)