Doubting Myself While Wearing Hijab

"I wish I could just walk around with my hair down and dyed like that girl" 

"I wish I could wear pretty earrings like her" 

"Wow, her hair open like that looks so pretty. I look like an old maid in this scarf" 

 Yesterday, I was out shopping with family, and I felt hideous in my hijab. My cousins had their hair open, dyed, layered, with pretty earrings. And I felt ugly. However, as I looked disgustedly at myself in the mirror, I thought, all this hair, jewelry etc is to look beautiful in this world, however I look beautiful to Allah (swt) for wearing this hijab. This thought gave me courage and happiness and I decided to write my hijab story to motivate others who might also deal with doubts while wearing hijab.

My hijab story is very different from my blogger friend Muslimah Nurse. http://improvingmymuslimself.blogspot.com/2011/04/struggling-with-hijab.html
Her mom was a hijabi and she followed her mom's footsteps. However, no one in my family in America wears hijab. (However, just because my mom doesn't wear hijab doesn't mean she is not pious or religious. In contrast, she is one of the most god fearing people I know Alhamdulillah.) As I grew up, my mom always taught me that you must have hijab in your eyes and heart first before you do hijab physically. This translates to lowering your gaze and practicing modesty in your language, thoughts, and behavior. 

I always admired women who wore hijab and thought, "I will wear hijab one day when I become a doctor." I always dreamed of being a hijabi in the future but never had the guts to put it on. This is probably because no one in my family wore it, so it would be a drastic change to make. However, in the summer of freshman year  college, Allah guided me toward wearing the hijab. I felt an urgency and thought why am I postponing wearing hijab when I can do it NOW? I suddenly had courage to stand up and take initiative. I can only say that Allah gave me the strength and guidance and that is why I am a hijabi Alhamdulilah. I went to my university freshman year without hijab (I never even wore my hair stylishly or down but always in a ponytail). 

Then, first day of sophomore year I decided to wear the "piece of cloth on my head". It was a triangle shaped cotton red scarf I wore to my madrassa. My dad glanced at my change of appearance through his rear view mirror but said nothing. My mom was insistent that I not wear the hijab and just go to college like a normal girl. However, 'rebelling' against my mother I wore the hijab and began my first day of sophomore year. Some friends were surprised and asked if I had become a hijabi. Others acted like they didn't even notice at all. All I can say is that this decision was brewing in my mind for a while and Allah gave me the power to take action. He gave me confidence so that I when I looked in the mirror I was proud of myself and thought I looked pretty. Alhamdulillah it's been 4 years as a hijabi and I'm thankful that I am a Muslim and have the privilege of wearing hijab.
Like I mentioned earlier, I do deal with difficulty sometimes when wearing hijab. I miss wearing my big pretty earrings outside. When I see a girl with her perfectly straightened hair, I wish my hair wasn't bunched up in a tight bun. Maybe you may also share these thoughts, but remember these are all thoughts from the shaitan. We wear our hijab to look pretty for Allah.

To battle these negative thoughts I do somethings to make myself feel pretty:
Learn new ways to style hijab. Who said a hijabi can't be stylish?! Follow blogs about hijabi fashion and you will surely be inspired

http://www.yazthespaz89.blogspot.com/

http://hijabrevival.blogspot.com/

http://www.hijabstyle.co.uk/

You can wear your hair pretty with ladies and your mahrams so here is a link I follow for hair tutorials.

http://www.youtube.com/user/LuxyHair
Put on some blush or lipstick to bring color to your complexion and make you look brighter and prettier in you hijab

I hope these tips help you out. I ask all my readers to share their tips to help them wear hijab confidently so that we can all benefit. Do you watch beauty or hair tutorials to make you feel pretty? Well, share them girl!! 

Remember that hijab is something we are doing for Allah which beautifies us to such an extent that no makeup, clothing can match our hijabi beauty. Alhamdulilah

Celebrate Mother's Day Everyday To Enter Paradise

 

Assalamualaikum,

No, Im not late in celebrating Mothers Day. For me mothers day is not one day I go out and buy perfume and chocolates for my Mom. However, I strive to appreciate my Mom everyday. I pray that Allah forgives my sins when I get impatient with her, when I get irritated thinking she is old fashioned, and when I don't understand her love and affection for me. She is so hardworking and puts her heart and soul out so that I don't have to deal with difficulty. Oh Allah, please let me love my Mom with all my heart each and everyday. Please eliminate all her worries, sorrows, and difficulties in this life and the hereafter Ameen.

Our Prophet saws emphasized the importance of mothers on many occasions. Here is one example: 

A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim). 

I found a really cute book More Mommilies: As My Mother Used to Say  with a list of wise sayings from mothers over the years. I selected a few sayings that I liked and hope you enjoy them as much as I did. Some you need to think about a little to understand. Exercise your brain! :)

• Remember, I'm your mother - and you'll never have another
• If I wanted to know your opinion, I'd ask for it
• I'm not everyone else's mom
• You'd go to the ocean and not find any water
• I feel this all the time when I my brother cant find things that are in front of him and he begs me to find it for him. 

• An empty can makes the most noise; the same goes for heads
• The tongue- we  spend three years learning how to use it and the rest of our lives learning how to control it. 
• SO TRUE!!

• Dont take a single thing for granted- ever. 
• When your mind doesnt work, your feet have to. 
• Always expect the worst, and when it comes, make the best of it.
• There is a devil, there is not doubt. -- But is he trying to get inside of us or out?
• Look it up-- you'll remember it longer
• Great tip for studying!
• Your only as old as you feel!
• Dont eat in front of your friends unless you have enough to share.
• No man chases a streetcar he's already caught.

Dont forget to celebrate Mothers Day EVERYDAY! Whether you give your mom an extra hug, tell her thank you for everything she does, give her a massage, or do some chores voluntarily for her. Make her feel special because she deserves it. 

(: Improving My-muslim-self :)